"I don't want to be a product of my environment, I want my environment to be a product of me!"
-Jack Nicholson as Frank Costello in The Departed
Hell yeah, I'm friggin jacked up, flying around on cloud 9, droppin bombs all over the place, causing disruptions and making waves. This is how I feel when I walk into the gym to train. But you wouldn't know it to look at me. I remain calm on the exterior, but there is a social distortion going on inside me that would frighten most mortals to death. I'm fuckin raging, I'm hungry, I want that edge that I don't fuckin have yet, no one is going to give it to me. Im gonna take that shit, I'm gettin it today, motherfucker. I'm pickin up stones and droppin em on your motherfuckin head, motherfuckjer. This shit aint gonna be nice and it aint gonna be pretty. If I had to change routes and go to a professional environment, or a typical job right now, I would surely get fucking fired, kicked out, have the god damn police called, and I would most definitely burn this stupid fuckin building to the god damn ground, and murder every stupid fuckin asshole in this bitch. Fuck you, I'm mad as hell.
-Jack Nicholson as Frank Costello in The Departed
Hell yeah, I'm friggin jacked up, flying around on cloud 9, droppin bombs all over the place, causing disruptions and making waves. This is how I feel when I walk into the gym to train. But you wouldn't know it to look at me. I remain calm on the exterior, but there is a social distortion going on inside me that would frighten most mortals to death. I'm fuckin raging, I'm hungry, I want that edge that I don't fuckin have yet, no one is going to give it to me. Im gonna take that shit, I'm gettin it today, motherfucker. I'm pickin up stones and droppin em on your motherfuckin head, motherfuckjer. This shit aint gonna be nice and it aint gonna be pretty. If I had to change routes and go to a professional environment, or a typical job right now, I would surely get fucking fired, kicked out, have the god damn police called, and I would most definitely burn this stupid fuckin building to the god damn ground, and murder every stupid fuckin asshole in this bitch. Fuck you, I'm mad as hell.
Damn, son, why you so mad?
I don't fuckin know, but I'm about to rip your ugly fuckin face off, get away from me, shit head.
Maybe I listened to too much Hatebreed, maybe I didn't sleep enough, maybe I heard too much pitiful bitching and my tolerance just snapped, and you're about to hear it all in your motherfuckin earhole.
You never felt like this? You never get furious? You won't understand me. You should've turned away a long time ago, got the fuck outta Dodge, bitch. Today is not your lucky day, youre in the wrong place son. I came here to wreck shit and do fuckin damage. My veins are on fire and I am fuckin raging. You will never know what I feel like, whats happening inside me right now. I'm a motherfuckin time bomb and i'm almost outta ticks. Don't walk, run, motherfucker.
I need to feel that steal, I need to vent before i blow my shit. I'm gonna take a fuckn flame thrower to your face, your family and your god damn dog. I would boil your cat, but that shit would take too fuckin long, so I'll just eat it, ass end first and hear that little hairy fuck cry.
This is the ugly side, the shit others dont wanna see, the scary shit that some suppress, and others embrace. Don't worry, I'm not really gonna melt you, or eat your cats asshole. But I am gonna take my frustration and crazy inhuman energy out on this weight right here, and after that, some lucky lady is gonna have her fuckin ass waxed til i can see my ugly mug right in her butt.
I'm a fuckin destroyer!
I'm a god damn Goliath!
I will flip you on your head and punt your ugly fuckin face!
I'm taking this shit out on some heavy fuckin weight, bending steal over my back, melting knurling in my grip. Hearing these iron wheels knockin next to my head is like heavenly music. These chains rattling from the ground give me strength. They tell me whats up. I hear you, motherfucker,! You want another one? I got you, bitch. The chains count my reps as I rip them from the ground, again, and again, and again...
Fuck the plan! Fuck a damn five by five. I gettin after it today. I wanna see something snap, somethings gotta break and it wont be me. King fucking Kong aint got shit on me! I dont even know what the fuck I am doing next, but its gonna hurt something fierce. I am NOT scared, I want the pain. I aint got shit to do tomorrow but fuck up more shit.
I am not here to impress you, I do not want your god damn acceptance. You judging me? Fuck you! I'm not here for your approval. I am not trying to fit in, I do not want to be like you or feel easy in this place. If you want a lesson, stand back and watch, and feel your nuts swell up in the fuckin process. This shit right here will make a man outta you, like a god damn circumcision on a wooden chopping block with a machete in the fuckin desert.
Don't fear the pain that is coming, the shit is gonna happen regardless, Do what you gotta do to survive. Heal your wounds and clean your blood up.
The things that go through my head may not be right, or accepted by most, but sometimes rage happens, and we think fucked up shit. How are you gonna deal with it. Whats wrong with you? We all got problems. You gonna take it out on your ol lady? Or you gonna go out and do something of value? Don't be a fuckin pussy, do something worth talking about in places other than the police blotter, you silly fuck. Stop slackin and complaining and get out and do something motivating. It will be hard, it will not seem convenient. It will take a lot of effort and you might not be rewarded at all. But get back out there and do it again, and again. We all have an ugly side. Some hide it, some use it for a greater good. Don't let that shit hold you back. That is fuckin fire, the fuel you need to blaze a new path. Light it up and get moving. Keep working, dont stop, wear yourself the fuck out. You'll be fine, the sun will come up tomorrow. And there will be your barbell, without a scratch, without a dent, ready for another beating. You thought you fucked that mother fucker up, but he enjoyed it, the sick fuck. He absolutely loved being thrown around, picked up, slammed down and sweated on. He feeded on your sweat, skin and blood. He wants more. Do you have more to give today than you had yesterday? Thats man shit. Everyday won't see your best, but your best can be delivered at any moment. What brings it out of you? Lying inside you, dormant, is something incredible, just waiting and begging to be unleashed. Many will not like it, some will think you're fucking disgusting. Fuck it, you are not here for them. But, there are many who want and need you to show them the way. You are fuckin gifted, at what I have no idea, but you got something that they don't and they need that shit. You might have to make serious changes. You might have to look deeper into places of your soul than you ever have. You might scare the fuckin shit out of yourself. You might see an ugly side that may make you quiver with truth induced heaving. Or you may rage against the norm and set yourself free and discover your rare ingenious talent. Maybe you cant find it alone, Maybe you cant let go. Maybe you should eat a half ounce of Wisconsin's finest shit shrooms and take a long walk and figure your shit out. We all have many ugly sides, and we have a unique passion that guides ourselves, and others, to greatness. Be the fuckin one. Be on. Fuckin rage and be epic.
I do not want to be a product of my environment, feeling sorry for myself because there may be pity and sorrow all around me. I want others to feed off of my energy, learn from me, and grow stronger knowing that they are more badass and empowered by the pain and suffering they endured, and they are ready for a bigger challenge every God damn step of the way. I can't help everyone, but those that I can help will be fuckin better for it.
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